Family: "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children & the Search for Identity"

Family

Let me begin by saying I am already pretty obsessed with this book. So obsessed, I am writing about it at 12:45 on a Sunday night when I have appointments from 9-630 for myself tomorrow including conducting cognitive testing with an 8 year old boy who may have ADHD (hold on to your hats people). But this book just stays on my mind! It brings up some interesting and emotional ideas. It is also really long - so I am going to split this book up over several posts.

I am reading this book for the theme family and have been wanting to read this book since I listened to the author on NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross. I once read in a newspaper for academics that to be a researcher you have to really love your research because it's likely that no one cares about it and above all, Terry Gross will never want to interview you, or something like that. I found it very hilarious and true at the same time. But, point being, this guy WAS interviewed by Terry Gross and I was pretty instantly hooked to his idea. I recall telling several people about it that day. But I didn't pick up the book until months later, and though it was on my list, it was pretty random that I did pick up the book when I did. So glad that I did now.

Chapters: Son, Deaf & Dwarves

The first chapter of this book, Son, sets out the premise of the book. The author outlines this with his idea of "vertical" and "horizontal" identities. Vertical identities are those we inherit and share with our parents, often these are also plainly visible. For example, race is a vertical identity. In contrast, horizontal identities may or may not be heritable but are likely NOT shared with your parents. For example, being gay or congenitally deaf. These conditions may have some heritability or genetic basis but it is pretty uncommon. There is also a lot in the first chapter about the author's own life and his context for writing this book. I could have lived without a lot of that stuff. Given that I had heard about this book on NPR I often found myself thinking, "let's get to the good stuff" while reading this chapter.

The second chapter is about being Deaf. This chapter very sensitively explores the Deaf identity and culture. I found the history of Deaf education quite remarkable and alarming. Not-so-fun-fact, not teaching Sign language early on in favor of an "oralist" only education can actually be a form of preventable mental retardation (intellectual disability is the preferred term now but the book used mental retardation specifically in that passage). I found this fact as well as some of the other ideas in this chapter quite profound in illustrating how much being social is part and parcel of our species. So much so that not being able to communicate could cause an intellectual disability.  This really fits with a lot of recent research on human evolution, that is our ability to form groups and care for one another that allowed us to increase our cognitive capacity so rapidly. It also made me think of my dear cousin who has a severe developmental disability that has made her unable to ever talk (or Sign), I had always thought of how she is trapped within her own mind and though it had crossed my mind before that her inability to communicate slowed her down I never really painted out in those stark letters that it was part of WHY she is intellectually disabled.

This idea - of cognitive impairment because of inability to communicate - also really struck home the social isolation that being Deaf and isolated from language also would entail. A continuing theme of this book and one very present in the Deaf chapter is how pre-natal screening could "eliminate" this culture and way of being and is that for the better or for the worse. In the case of the Deaf community this is very interesting because this culture is SO developed. They have invented their own language for goodness sakes! Yet one cannot argue that being without hearing is not a significant obstacle, even if one that contributes to positive growth. It made me think about cultural evolution/revolution in general. How many cultures over time have been lost? Thousands I am sure (anthropologists please weigh in). Many of those were lost unfairly, such as many Native American cultures in the US purposefully eradicated. Yet some were lost through "normal" passage of time, the author gives the example of Eastern European Jewish, Yiddish-speaking immigrants of his father's generation in New York. It also made me think about the assumption that all cultures are valuable. I am not questioning the value of Deaf culture, especially given the history of Deaf culture's role in advocating for the education of Deaf people. But there are certainly some cultures that could do to evolve, for example our own culture very much tolerates violence against women (and lots of others), would we really miss that? But what else would change if that did? Surely that tendency doesn't exist in a vacuum.

The third chapter, the chapter I completed this evening, was about Dwarfism. I am still digesting this one a bit and dwarfism is striking in how much public "comment" it unwittingly invites upon those who are dwarves because of it's visual nature. The name itself is interesting - dwarf is in this case a medical condition and used in literature as a name for a small, magical person. Many people who would have this medical condition prefer the term Little Person and that is what is mostly used in this chapter. Little People face a different conundrum as their "disability", a somewhat contended issue, is almost purely physical. They think the same, share the same emotions, etc and in some ways this almost makes the physical conditions worse because they can be felt that much more acutely. There is also the tension of the "disabledness" of being a Little Person, most of the problem of daily living is environmental and thus can be adapted to/with so is it a true disability? However, one cannot dismiss the true LIMITATIONS of small stature and often associated orthopedic, respiratory, and neurological difficulties. Especially in this chapter the personal growth achieved by the parents of Little People was striking - so many of these parents faced up to the challenge and felt they were better for having done it. Which I think is quite profound, part of the human condition AND probably true of any parent in some way.

WAR: Iron Council

Before I get into my book for WAR, I would like to give a shout-out to another book that fits this theme perfectly that I read before we started on this little journey.



Code Name Verity is an incredible story about two friends who are torn apart when their plane crashes in Nazi-occupied France n the middle of a spy mission for Britain during World War II. "Verity" is captured by the Gestapo and forced to reveal her mission to them. Weaved into her confession is a brilliant tale about the role of women in World War II (both main characters were part of the Women's Auxiliary Air Force), an amazing and heartbreaking friendship, and of courage and determination.

I really cannot say much about the plot, in fear of ruining it for anyone who might pick it up, because really.. reading it is an experience, and it's one of those books that part of reading it is taking the journey yourself without any preconceived notions. 

Rating: 5 stars

Recommendation: READ IT

And now on to my actual book for this month..

Iron Council is the third book in Miéville's Bas-Lag series set in the fantastic city of New Crobuzon, which is under siege from inside and out. The elusive threat of war from the region Tesh is always looming above the city, putting fear in every citizen. However, it quickly becomes clear the real threat is coming from within. There is unrest among the citizens of New Crobuzon, and there are rumors that the legendary Iron Council is returning.

Twenty years ago, New Crobuzon was building a rail system that would connect itself to many other regions. In it's greed and power, it mowed down many outlying settlements of defenseless creatures and attracted many prostitutes for the workers, and Remade (horrific bodily reconstructions from animal and machine parts that permanently brand criminals as outcasts and slaves). The prostitutes were not getting paid, and the Remade were being forced into labor. In the wilderness far away from the city, they revolted and took over the train, turning it into the Iron Council--the perpetual train, a symbol for freedom and equality.

The book follows a cast of characters that set this citizen's revolution into motion--Judah, the golemancy scholar who saw the birth of the Iron Council and has spread the legend of the Iron Council throughout New Crobuzon; Cutter who is fatally flawed in that he'll follow Judah to the death; Ann-Hari, the woman that led the revolt against the militia to claim the Iron Council; and Ori, who is a discontent revolutionist that is tired of the talk of revolution--he wants action.

WAR: At first, it seems like the war between New Crobuzon and Tesh should be at the forefront of everyone's mind, but never becomes more than a shadowy threat on the horizon. In fact, the war starts and ends on the sidelines, the reader only hears about it through whisperings and rumors via the secondary characters. The real war lies within the city of New Crobuzon and the inception and return of the Iron Council.

There are many lessons folded into the story of the Iron Council--those that support strength in rightfulness, but also a deep sense of history and timeliness. Although the Iron Council is built on the idea of free citizens, equality, and an Utopian society, when it returns to New Crobuzon it is not certain that the city is ready to accept it. There are also warnings against being so passionate about something you will do anything to make it happen even if it blinds you to the truth. Sometimes, that passion is good.. but more often than not your logic must be grounded. And running through all this is one of Miéville's central themes: life isn't fair and doesn't always work out the way you want it to--but hope can and will live on. 

Overall, I love Miéville in this book for everything I've always loved him for--his inventiveness, his social messages, his ability to weave incredible and intricate worlds that are beautiful and flawed. His characters fall a bit flat, but they are just vessels for the messages he's trying to convey. I can overlook that for the sheer genius that is his worldbuilding.

Rating: 4 stars

Recommendation: If you've never read Miéville, I would suggest starting out with something a bit less dense. The City & The City is BRILLIANT, and perhaps my favorite book of his. In terms of Bas-Lag, The Scar (Bas-Lag #2) still has my heart.

WAR: Forgotten Country

For the theme "WAR" I read the book Forgotten Country by Catherine Chung. First of all, GOOD JOB MS. CHUNG! This book received many awards and came to my attention via Oprah magazine, it was a great book. And yes, I read Oprah magazine. THIS BOOK VALIDATES THAT CHOICE.

Synopsis (************SOME MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD*******************): This book recounts the family history of Janie & Hannah aka Jeehyun and Haejin through Janie/Jeehyun's perspective as the family faces serious difficulties. The first difficulty is the voluntary disappearance of her sister and how the family copes with that. From reading book synposes I expected the book to really center around this event and though that is the beginning the book quickly transitions to the family's difficulties moving to the US from Korea and the father's illness. Yet, I was not bothered by this transition (but surprised), I got sucked in at the beginning and then 100 pages later was like, "whoa how did we get here?" This book really got to my heart with some of the challenges the family faced with being in another country, far away from their known culture and family members, racism that the young girls dealt with, and loss that any family would be challenged by. Oh my, the resiliency of this family.

This book made me think a lot of about the idea of "generational trauma". Here I go getting all psychology-y again. But this book is very illustrative of how events that DID NOT HAPPEN TO YOU but were highly traumatic and influential for another, like your parent, really do shape who you are. And how much they affect you is hugely related to how the parent's cope.

For Janie and Hannah their parent's experiences of the Korean war and ongoing conflict (inasmuch as though there is no outright war anymore but North Korea is cut off from South Korea and many families had loved ones across the border they cannot communicate with) was a huge part of who they are even though they didn't experience it. They did not experience all their father's loved ones being killed and having to live as servants in a relative's house, yet, because of the way this shaped their father, such as how he loved and honored his sister because she was his only living relative, totally affected them in huge ways. This sister's children were awful and abusive and to Janie and Hannah and this may have not been tolerated if they had been the children of another family member. Or maybe not, a huge theme of this book is family and what that means. I feel like I learned a lot about traditional Korea culture reading this book. Interestingly, though Janie and Hannah are "very Asian" but "American" (classic bi-cultural kids and all the rifts that can bring) they way they dealt with the traumas they experienced was so classic to me (in the sense of common), they dealt with those just like any other young women. And perhaps that shows just how human it is to experience these kinds of things, awful as they are, and deal with them best you can.

War: The Korean war was the backdrop for this story and though it was explicitly talked about for a relatively short amount of the book it was lurking in many scenes. More prominent was the "war" within the family between Hannah and the rest of them, vs. Janie at times, vs. Janie + her parents at other times. It is interesting to think of the traditional "war" between nations and how similar that can be to the mini-wars we play out against each other in families. Purposefully hurting each other to gain something, lashing out in retaliation, etc. We under-estimate how much we can really harm each other.

Map of Korea with close-up on the demilitarized zone (DMZ) 

In sum, this book ended in a totally different place than I expected but I gladly followed to where it led me. This is an easy book intellectually, a tough book emotionally. This book is an excellent look at how some things affect all families but also the unique challenges of a family immigrating to the US.

Rating: 3.75 stars (first half: 4.5, second half: 3.0)

Recommendation: Go read it!

Love continued: Marmee & Louisa

I finally finished this book a few weeks ago. Once I got over the initial hump I read it much faster.

Overall thoughts: It was very hard to drop my "modern eye" at times reading this. For example, the state of Abigail and Bronson's marriage was SO AGGRAVATING and it was so frustrating to see how trapped she was in the situation because of the times. However, this kind of thing STILL happens to women all over the world today. It is so tragic! Not just because of the personal suffering when a marriage is dysfunctional but because relationships can be wonderful, powerful, fulfilling things and it is a tragedy when they don't fill their potential and instead are life-sucking. Also, their relationship is a really good example of how sexism hurts everyone. Neither of them fit into the "role" they were supposed to and it made them both unhappy though in very different ways. If Abigail had been free to make a living for the family and Bronson had been free to work on his ideas they would have both been much happier. Of course, Abigail would have been even happier if she could be taken more seriously for HER ideas....

This book was really a biography of Louisa May Alcott and her mother Abigail but I found the transition to focusing on Louisa a bit lacking. We didn't get to know her life and personality the same way we did her mothers even though she was so much more famous and well known. Side note: I totally did not realize how famous Louisa was in her day, it is really amazing how many books she sold.

I find it really interesting that Louisa and her mother both journaled extensively their whole lives. In our lab we do research on expressive writing for anger. Clearly they were doing this at times! I wonder how much writing has played a role in emotion regulation in history. I also wonder how journaling affects intellectual development more generally.

As for the theme love, Louisa and her mother did truly care for each other. I find it interesting that they were very much self-sacrificing for each other in a way that was different from their other relationships. Abigail especially was very self sacrificing in general though it was really expected of her in many ways. We expect mothers (and parents more generally) to sacrifice for their children and it seems like she really took this to another level due to their family's unique situation. Yet, when it came to Louisa it seemed more a matter of choice than in some of the other situations. I really wonder how the rest of the family viewed their relationship - were they envious? appreciative? I would guess a mixture of both.

Rating: 3 stars.

Recommendation: If you want to learn more about what it was like living during this time, read on sister. If you want to know what Louisa May Alcott was like as a person or how her writing influenced the world, read something else as you will just get a taste of those topics.